White Guys Secretly Love Black Girls.

I know what you’re thinking… This title is a liiiiitle dramatic. But I promise you it’s not. For the last 8 years I’ve been doing living this experiment (I wasn’t allowed to date until I turned 15). But this past week really made me want to figure out why white guys hid feeling this way.

Growing up I was surrounded by both races. Most of my friends were white but that’s just what I was around – I’ve never preferred one over the other. My dads side of the family would say things to me like, “you’re wearing your hair wet like a white girl” – mind you I have curly hair that has to be wet in order to curl. My white friends would say I wasn’t really black and my black friends would say I acted white – still confused about this one. But honestly, I still I never saw color or understood what those comments meant. When it came to my friends, I just saw who I connected with and who I had a bond with. When it came to my actions, I just did whatever was comfortable for me. Fortunately for me I could do all of that around both groups.

The first guy I ever had a crush on was in elementary school, his name was Raleigh, he was white, and we became really great friends – looking back he probably never felt the same way as me because I was twice his size in all aspects – but in my mind I just wasn’t his “type” (yes 3rd graders understand the concept of crushes). In middle school, I had tons of white guy friends but none ever showed any interest like the black guys, so 8th grade was the kick-starter to dating black guys. Everyone always assumes that I would only date one type of a guy: black athlete, but you’re WRONG. I’ve been going that route because that’s who I thought only liked me. WRONG, hence my title. Now, I can’t speak for all of the white guys in the world or all black girls in the world, but I spend a lot of time being generalized so for blog purposes I’ll do the same. In high school, I dated a black athlete, shocker, but over the years I would get my most hated compliment, “Morgan’s the hottest black girl I know” or “you’re so hot for a black girl” or anything else you can add attractive and black to. No one ever said it to be insulting but I mean come on, really??? That’s another story in itself so I digress. By my senior year though, I had mysteriously won ‘Most Attractive’ as a senior superlative after never being approached by a single white guy in the hallways…. *crickets* Then I went to college, and you’d think that between two large universities with a combined total of over 40,000 students, one in the north and one in the south, things would change. Somewhat they did. A whopping total of two white guys expressed feelings for me. TWO. One of which was Australian so technically he doesn’t count but I like to count him to make myself feel better. So in a total of 8 years of being dateable, two guys tried…sober. That’s when I came to the realization that it wasn’t me not being their type. In hindsight, white guys always found me attractive because they secretly love black girls. How do I know? Because without failure, it always came out in one of two ways: anonymity and alcohol. An anonymous vote – all about it. Liquid courage – all over it. But catch a white guy out on a normal day – swerved.

So why is it so hard for white guys to approach black girls they are interested in? As I do most things, I took my questions to my friends – guys and girls, black and white.

A lot of my black girl friends experience my same frustrations. They’ve had love professed to them after hours and after a few drinks. My white girl friends say it’s just a “white guy thing” – they’re not nearly as aggressive as black guys (maybe that’s why so many date black guys?). My white guy friends say I’m intimidating, literally a triple threat: pretty, taller than most guys, and black (if that matters) and that maybe I should go up to them. And my black guy friends just don’t understand why I even care to go outside of my race – typical, but why not?

This isn’t a race thing like I used to believe. The gigs up guys, I’m onto you! I can firmly say that I know you love black girls because I have witnessed it. I see how you react when you’re drinking, I know our brown skin and hair is so beautifully unique to you, and I obviously count this as a scientific/proven experiment since I have lived it and asked a “focus group”. Imagine all of the other fish in the sea there are if you could approach us in the grocery store on a Tuesday instead of hammered at the bar on a Saturday night. All I’m saying is, it’s 2015 and not only is combining races in a relationship not a big deal anymore, it’s also a hashtag so that obviously means it’s totally fine (#teamswirl).

So this week and this month I challenge you – and all other readers outside of those who fall in the topic of choice – to step out of your comfort zone a little. If you see something you like, go get it. Life’s too short to not speak up on how you feel (clearly).

Happy Monday!